Back on the Horse

Ok the pity party is over! My motto for the day. I am getting back on the horse and moving forward!

Today my first stop was at the online readings for the day. What counsel can God give me to start my day? Today's reading from the Acts of the Apostles, The conversion of St Paul. Lots of lessons for my own life and for my son's as well from that story. For me although I was able to focus on other things these past few weeks as I went back to swimming and teaching, I have been neglecting my daily spirituality in many ways. I have gotten away from starting my day with the daily readings and remembering to tune into God and his will throughout the busyness of my days. Then when the rain comes as in life it always does I am much like St Paul knocked off my horse and feeling blinded without direction. So that I am here first before other things and giving God my attention first and foremost that is a good thing.

For my son, there is more blindness and a longer journey ahead. This biblical conversion reminds me that God can get the attention of even the most stubborn and hard hearts. Another nugget from yesterday from Kelly was that as much as I love my son, God loves him more. The bible certainly gives us many examples of how God pursues and reaches to those who are misdirected. So perhaps it would be most productive to look at what I see as my son's failures as an opportunity for his growth and redirection. This is no doubt where hope and prayer come in. How can God help me to be a positive and loving instrument to shine a light to Will to a better path? How would God want me to reach out to this child as he would? I think this will be my question for the day..finding the balance between holding him accountable all the while communicating we love you, change is possible and God loves you too.

So today I pray that Will will start the first day of his journey first with a contrite heart. I pray that I can reach toward him with love, releasing my anger knowing and communicating in a more loving manner that we all make mistakes and can instead choose to focus our energy not only on past mistakes but on getting back on the horse and starting on a better journey.