Celebrating My Perfect Man

Today is a happy day as I remember with joy a day 24 years ago today when Bill and I were married. On that day, I was blessed to marry the guy whom I today jokingly refer to as "the perfect man. " My criteria is that he does not play golf and spend his weekends there, he does not watch sports endlessly on TV (other than our mutual preoccupation with the Florida Gators football only) and he cleans and cooks.

Bill and I met just before I turned 18 in college. He is my best friend someone who has now been in my life longer than my own mother who died when I was just 25. We have shared so much as we have gone through life to this point careers, travel, fun times, friends, children, sorrow and frustrations. He is a hard worker and a very conscientious person and also faithful and can be counted upon. He is almost always upbeat and loves to laugh especially at his own brand of humor.

As a reflect upon Bill, I can truly say that I feel blessed by God. He completes me and is everything that I am not. Although in life I feel that I have experienced my share of trials, today I want to remember that this one gift has been the greatest and one that I hope I never take for granted especially in a world where I know many who do not have this blessing and have been hurt and disappointed by divorce or who though they are married do not have a spouse who they can depend upon.

So although today is a working day...Monday, I pray that throughout this day, I will remember with joy that today is day that for me should symbolize one of greatest happiness and joy. One song that comes to mind that has always brought tears to my eyes and sums things up perfectly is Kenny Rogers Through the Years so here's to you Bill, know that you have been the source of my greatest joy in life. It is a debt I can never repay and I will thank God for you every day that I am blessed to continue to spend with you.

I can't remember when you weren't there
When I didn't care for anyone but you
I swear we've been through everything there is
Can't imagine anything we've missed
Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do

Through the years, you've never let me down
You turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found
I've found with you ... Through the years
I've never been afraid, I've loved the life we've made
And I'm so glad I've stayed, right here with you
Through the years

I can't remember what I used to do
Who I trusted, who I listened to before
I swear you taught me everything I know
Can't imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more

Through the years, through all the good and bad
I knew how much we had, I've always been so glad
To be with you ... Through the years
It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years


Through the years, when everything went wrong
Together we were strong, I know that I belong
Right here with you ... Through the years
I never had a doubt, we'd always work things out
I've learned what love's about, by loving you
Through the years

Through the years, you've never let me down
You've turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found
I've found with you ... Through the years
It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years!

Gone too soon

It is hard to fathom looking at this picture taken from a New Orleans cheer competition last February that in a little over 4 months one of these young people would take their own lives. Scott Crosby the boy on the far left next to my Emily apparently commited suicide yesterday. The ripples of this sad decision extend outward and are seemingly unending. Sadly, this is the second time this week I have known someone whose world has been devastated by suicide. Both acts are just senseless and sad but somehow a young person feeling at 17 that he needed to end his life seems sadder than a middle age person doing the same.

I remember this young man bounding onto the stages at all the MGA cheer competitions this past season. He would jump 3 feet off the ground pumping his fist in the air and my memory is of a boy with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. He was one of the cheerleaders responsible for keeping my Katie up in her stunts. She had to trust him to catch her when she came down and seeing that the gym awarded him its Ironman award at the banquet in May for his ability to keep up any stunt, he was worthy of her trust. I can still picture Katie doing a swing dance with him as part of the routine to the tune of "Greased Lightening."

It's hard to understand what would make a young boy with his whole life ahead of him feel as though he had no future and was better off dead. It is a reminder to me of the lack of perspective that young people often have and how quickly they can make a decision that forever changes their lives and the lives of those who know and love them. As with many times in life it is one where I struggle to understand. It is a time that the only comfort available for me is faith and prayer. Faith that God heals the broken hearted, those who knew and loved him, and prayer that they will know the love and support of others as they face many difficult days ahead.For my own children, I hope that they will turn to God for his strength as they struggle to make sense out of this terrible tragedy and that faith will be their strength for facing future struggles that come to them in this life.

It makes you wonder seeing the outpouring of sadness from so many why he was not able to feel how many loved and cared about him. It is a reminder to those left behind to show love and gratitude to one another because once someone is gone it is too late. It is also a lesson in how much one person can mean to those who love him or her and how you should never take that life for granted. Rest in Peace Scott you are missed and for your family and friends we look for God's comfort and strength as we remember you.