.JPG)
A little of my personal journey just to witness to the impact that Bec and Ed have had on my life and my husband, Bill's, life in really just a very short time. It is a truly a testament to the power of two people united to God and each other and how we can each make a difference in our world. Early this February, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It came from out of the blue no family history and me under the age of 50. My parents are both deceased, I have no siblings and although I have my husband's family we do not share a spiritual connection as believers do.Back up farther Bec and Ed were members of our St Patrick's Faith community. I came to know them both when a became a part of the Cursillo Family. You can read about Cursillo if you are not familiar with this movement in the Catholic Church in my post Your Will not My Whim written in 2010 shortly after I made my Cursillo weekend. Both Bec and Ed had served on team for Cursillo meaning they put on the weekends. I first got to know Bec when we traveled to a formation meeting together. So many words describe Bec spunky, vivacious and of course joyful but what impressed me the most was her deep and abiding sense of Faith and trust in God.
Fast forward a bit. Ed is apostolic by nature. He truly wants to bring more people to know Christ more in our community and his favorite church ministry is Cursillo. He very much wanted my husband, Bill to make a Cursillo weekend but my Bill though very spiritual was a little uncomfortable with the idea of spending a weekend camping out and sharing "feelings," with a group of men from church. Our friendship remained status quo for sometime, we saw each other at church, I saw Bec and Ed at Cursillo events and Bill and I saw the Alegres at other church related functions.
In 2012, Bec was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and required surgery and chemotherapy. Her chemotherapy regimen was demanding to say the least and she suffered many of the usual side effects especially fatigue and of course hair loss. I never remember her missing Mass even though she often looked like she felt awful. She truly had a warrior spirit and never lost that sense of humor. She accumulated an assortment of wigs, my favorite was the Bahama Mama one which made her look like a cross between Bob Marley and Bo Derek. The entire Catholic Community in Warner Robins and beyond as well as many friends from other faith traditions prayed constantly for our dear Bec as we were kept abreast of her healing journey through periodic emails from Ed. Toward the end of last year she emerged feeling better and looking to be cancer free. She celebrated with joy some of her favorite holidays Halloween and Christmas.
In January of this year, a one year Canciversary party was held for Bec in the recently completed Tuscan room at their home. It was a day full of joy, good food and many blessings. By then my own Cancer journey had begun. I had a sizable lump in my breast and was waiting anxiously for my appointment with a breast surgeon. By that time, Bec and Ed had taken me under their wings. I had started attending daily mass where they were already regular attendees. I was overcome with anxiety yet there was Bec having emerged from the battle of her life against a diagnosis far worse than mine calming me with her wisdom and complete trust and faith in God no matter what the circumstances.
The next few months from February through early June was the heart of my Cancer journey as I underwent a biopsy, confirmation of diagnosis, oncology visits and finally the start of chemotherapy. Bec and Ed were always one of our first calls after these crucial appointments listening to each report, providing compassion and walking step by step with us a journey which they had just completed and cheering us on. Ed was always concerned for how Bill was dealing with things as he understood completely what it meant to be a caregiver and worry about the well being of the one you love the most. Bec was there calming my ever bubbling anxiety and mentoring me with her Faith filled spirit. At some point, Bec in some ways reminded me of my own mom although she is noway old enough to fill that role so maybe a big sister would be a better description but all I know is that Bec was the kind of person that anyone facing a diagnosis and struggle with Cancer would be extremely blessed to have in their life and I did! We were frequently together socially playing tennis, having dinner together and of course cocktail hours. We shared a lot of laughter, our friendship grew and our lives became more intertwined.
In May, Ed and Bec took a cruise together. It would seem that life was returning to their old normal which had been a mixture of Faith, friends, travel and fun as I am looking back at pictures of their life together. However just before leaving Bec shared with me after mass one day that recent lab tests had revealed an increase in Cancer markers and that this would have to be evaluated with further testing once they returned. In true Alegre fashion as I have come to understand, they forged ahead and had another memorable trip and cruise making new friends along the way. Shortly after their return, it was confirmed that Bec's cancer had returned and that this time treatment options were limited, short term and that this recurrence would ultimately prove to be fatal.
Where do people of Faith turn it such times of trial? To God as we believe that he made us, loves us and guides our journey. We are ultimately in his hands and sometimes we struggle to accept that his will includes suffering. Bec and Ed's confidence and trust in God flows naturally from them both and was also transforming Bill's and my own spirituality. Once again, Ed invited Bill to join in the weekly group at his home of fellow male cursillistas. And this time, Bill was ready to be a part of this gathering and sharing of spirituality. Although hurting for our friends, I was overjoyed to see this growth of faith in my own husband. Bill and I now talk more about Faith with one another which had long been a desire of mine as he is such a wonderful husband and good person and this just adds to the blessings of our marriage.
The next few months from June forward have been a mix of ups and downs. For a while it seemed like Bec was outwardly very healthy but she knew in her heart differently as she privately confided with some that she didn't expect to beat it this time. She was the epitome of a purposeful and faith filled believer as she looked back with no regrets at the time she had been given since her initial bout with Cancer. In early May, she had again served on team for Cursillo speaking about Piety and again forging forward to encourage others to draw closer to Christ. I will never forget her saying to me upon completing this service that she felt like she had done what God had called her to do and was ready to accept death whenever God called her.
It is difficult to accept that as I have grown healthier in my own battle with Cancer, Bec has declined, become sicker, and grown weaker. Both before entering hospice and throughout her time there, she continued to amaze and inspire as did her husband Ed with his complete commitment to his wife in sickness and health and both of their complete trust in God. Three weeks ago, we were all somewhat shocked to be called to the hospital emergency room by Ed as what had seemingly been a normal doctor's visit and another Chemo infusion had ended with Bec experiencing severe pain and needing to go to the hospital. I had just seen her hours before while receiving an infusion at the same facility and even talked to them a bit later on the phone. Now we were all confronted with the sad fact that Bec's continued stomach related symptoms from the past month had resulted in an obstruction to her intestine and the only fix was surgery. Unfortunately, Bec would not have tolerated the surgery or likely been able to recover. So at that point we did what believers do we gathered together, prayed and comforted one another.
Bec entered a local hospice unit and for her first days there we all shared in a sort of living wake. She was alert and with her typical sense of humor. All the area priests visited Bec frequently and we even celebrated several masses in her hospice room #6. One evening as we prayed the rosary our talented music minister brought her guitar and we sang joyfully many of our favorite faith filled songs. She had so many visitors that the hospice unit had occasionally to shush us and as the days continued on visits had to be shortened to give both Bec and Ed a chance to rest.
The hospice journey which started out to be what we all expected would be a matter of days lingered on for 3 and a half weeks. By her last week, Bec was extremely weak and slept almost continuously. Though her body was ravaged by cancer and its symptoms, her spirit was strong and her young 62 year old body as well. It was difficult to watch her body waste away and that vibrant spirit ebbing as she slowly declined and prepared to leave this world. Her spirit was matched by her husband, Ed's determination not to leave her side and to provide every care and comfort to her as he had vowed to do throughout their marriage and he did throughout from the onset of her cancer until her final breath. A weak ago as we celebrated mass one last time at the hospice unit I watched Bec struggle to participate in mass but was joyful to once more be in her presence celebrating the faith that sustains our community throughout our joys and sorrows. As I embraced her and said goodbye that day I told her I loved her and she in her trademark way weakly said to me, "Back at ya!."
Yesterday, an early morning call from Ed summoned Bill and I to be with him as Bec had finally passed in peace and a small group of us gathered to pray final prayers over her body. Now her journey is complete and all that remains is to gather for funeral rites and say our final goodbyes. We all went to St Patrick's yesterday, Sunday, to again celebrate mass as we do most Sundays and for me Bec's spirit was there joyful, faith filled and confident ... free from an early body that could no longer support such a remarkable soul. It was there that my first tears began to fall as I pondered how much she had meant to my life in such a short time. During Bec's time in hospice one day, I sat on the edge of her bed held her hand and looked into her beautiful twinkling blue eyes, which my father used to say was the window to the soul, and tried to thank her for what she had meant to me. It had occurred to me earlier that day that although our time as close friends had been short it had been frought with meaning. For some reason the story of the disciplines leaving Jerusalem on the way to Emmaus after the crucifixion made sense of this and gave me some understanding of this journey. I have learned that the trip between those two places in the Holy Land is short and when the disciples encountered unbeknown to them the risen Jesus and shared with him the scriptures and finally broke bread together their eyes were opened. I shared this reflection with Bec and thanked her for all she had done to fortify my journey and told her that although our time together had been short I was so grateful and blessed to have come to know her even though relative to many others my time with her was brief. Ok so I admit I did tear up in room 6 when I said this to her....sorry Ed! My tears as I told her were tears of joy for all she had meant to me and for the faith which as a believer I believe would lead her to a new life in Christ one that is free from all suffering and where peace is eternal. My friend, I hope you can in some way continue to watch over me and with your spirit which I feel is very close even though you have left us that you will somehow encourage and guide me and that one day God willing we will meet again.
