Emily Louise MacLachlan was my dad's big sister and my admiration for her began through his eyes. She was the second oldest in a family of 4 that was born and raised in the small town of Lancaster, Ohio. Very early her spirit led her beyond this small town as she attended and graduated with honors from Trinity University in Washington DC back in the 1940's when few women attended let alone graduated from college. During World War II, she served her country in the US Navy, (WAVES) an acronym which stands for Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergeny Service, and attained the rank of Lieutenant Junior Grade. Unlike today, women were not an accepted presence in the military so her service and rank placed her in an elite group for her time.
After World War II, she continued to break the typical female stereotypes by embarking on a career first with the US State Department in Washington DC and from there transitioning to a position in the US Embassy in China. She was among the last to leave Shanghai when Mao Zedong came to power at which time she was transferred to Iran. It was there that she met her husband, Robert MacLachlan, know to me as Uncle Mac, who was a native of Scotland. The couple was married in Tehran. Uncle Mac was with British Petroleum and his career eventually took the young couple back to the United States where they lived for a time in New Jersey. My first cousin Rob, my aunt and uncles first child, was born back in Lancaster but as before this was not to be a permanent home. Two other children followed Mary Anne (still Mitzi to most of us in the family) and Emily and at some point my Uncle went to work for Mobil Oil meaning the family would relocate to England and France.
I was born in 1964 and my first memories of my aunt were from cards, letters and gifts that we received while she was living abroad. One year we received some exquisitely embroidered Christmas ornaments that I believe came from China. Another year it was a book about horses that she sent to me because I was obsessed with horses as a young girl. In 1969, the family relocated to Westport, Connecticut which would remain her home for the rest of her life. I was just about 5 then so it was sometime after that I remember starting to regularly talk with her when she and my dad would talk on the phone. Despite her being back in the States, it was some time before I remember meeting her in person because since my dad was self employed we did not take many trips out of Florida and her family seemed to travel to more exotic locations than Florida.
I believe it was the summer of 1977 when we had a family reunion in Lancaster where we had not been since I was a toddler. I have so many fond memories of that trip with my father. It was the first time that I got to experience being a part of a bigger family. Raised as an only child, I was delighted to meet so many first cousins and it was my first memory of meeting my dad's brothers and sisters. Memories from that trip were of going out to Aunt Ritzy's (dad's other sister) farm and riding on jeeps laughing with everyone through the rolling hills that Lancaster was known for, hiking to the top of Mount Pleasant and summer feasts which included the locally grown and delicious corn and tomatoes.
Although we continued to talk on the phone regularly and exchange cards, it was not until August 1986 when I was married and my Aunt Emmy Lou and Uncle Mac came to Florida for my wedding that I was able to see her again. My aunt was always impeccably dressed and elegant and my wedding was no exception. My Uncle Mac was a witty and charming man and having them present for this special day was so memorable for me as I know it was for my father. That same year, my husband and I moved to New England where I would attend law school and my husband and I would live and work for the next 4 years. That meant we were in driving distance to Connecticut. It was during this time that I really got the chance to experience the essence of who my Aunt and Uncle were as we visited there a number of times.
Upon my first visit to Westport, I was struck by the simple beauty and love that they had for their home at 6 Pequot Trail. They loved entertaining and cooking and for us who were newly married and living on a tight budget these visits were a real treat complete with gourmet meals and good wine or champagne. I'll never forget the personal interest that they both took in both my life and my husband Bill's life inquiring about his early days with Frito Lay and taking a special interest in my studies at law school. I first learned upon reading my aunt's obituary that she had been accepted to law school before deciding to work for the state department and I remember as well that my Uncle Mac also had a keen interest in law as he was very involved with the local planning and zoning commission in Westport.
Over the years while we lived in New England I remember and treasured each of the visits with my husband and the few times when my dad visited me and we traveled down to Westport to vist his sister that he still and always had totally adored. I remember my aunt and uncle proudly showing off their garden which they spent many hours working together in and was a stunning focal point from their home especially during the summer. I remember her telling us and showing us pictures of their travels especially those from safari in Africa which truly must have been amazing. Despite the many places she had lived and travelled her love for Westport was evident as she toured us around her town showing us where the actors lived, driving us along Long Island Sound, taking us to the unique stores Hayday and Stew Leonards where we marvelled at all the gourmet food offerings and even stopping at a pet store for gourmet dog biscuits for the dogs they had Susie and Shep. Driving with Aunt Emmy Lou was part of the adventure as at 70 plus she zipped along the roads in her Toyota Celica all the while telling you that she did not do interstates. And on Sundays when we visited, we went to mass as she like the rest of my father's family were devout Catholics.
When we moved from New England in 1990, it would be a few years before I would see my aunt again. In 1994, we all travelled back to Lancaster in December for Uncle Alby (my dad's older brother) and Aunt Marie's 50th Wedding Anniversary celebration. By then, I had two children of my own whom I proudly showed off to my family. The name Emily was a beloved family name being the name of my Grandma, Aunt Emmy Lou, her daughter Emily and now 2 in the next generation my cousin Pat's daughter and my own daughter. Though my grandma had long since passed away, we made a point of snapping a picture to capture the four Emilys. After the wedding anniversary, I returned to Lancaster two more times with my father for the weddings of two of my cousins and on each of these occasions it was another family reunion with all the cousins and most of the aunts and uncles.
Since we had run out of occasions for Lancaster get togethers the years passed. In 1995, my uncle Alby passed away, he was 76. In 1998 my own father's health began declining. In 2003, my uncle Mac passed away after battling cancer. My father's health continued to decline and he ultimately required nursing home care for about 3 or 4 years. Always particularly found of her younger brother, I periodically called my aunt and kept her apprised on his health. On February 11, 2005, my own father passed away at the age of 76. I remember calling Aunt Emmy Lou and telling her a day or so prior that he was under hospice care and her words concerning his impending death, " Oh honey, it would be a blessing." Of course at some point for those who age without hope of improvement in their health, it is. It was at that point when talking with her that my own tears flowed as I knew that the time had come to let him go. My aunt was herself 84 at the time of my father's death and experiencing some health issues so she was unable to travel to Lancaster, Ohio in the winter for his funeral. I know that she prayed and had masses said for him and I knew how very much she loved him and he her.
I continued to keep in touch with my aunt aware that the years were passing but living over 1000 miles away and raising a young family meant we were not free to just pick up and visit. Then in 2012, my cousin Joni (Uncle Alby's daughter) got breast cancer. Joni was the cousin with whom I kept in most contact so throughout her treatment, I made it a point to call her frequently. Joni's health improved and we made plans to meet for a few days in New York City in late 2012. Part of our plan in addition to seeing the Big Apple included the opportunity to take the train to Westport Connecticut for a day to see our aunt whom we well knew was not getting any younger. Turns out that the weekend of our visit was the occasion for the visit of Superstorm Sandy so we were forced to flee the city or risk being trapped for days. I well remember telling my husband that I wasn't leaving without seeing my aunt so we took the train out to Wesport and rented a car with plans for driving west to escape the storm. We arrived in time for lunch and as she was always so gracious she took Mitzi, Joni and me to lunch. From there, we again toured Westport this time driving to the coast and seeing the preparations for the storm and the churning surf. This time my cousin Mitzi was driving so I sat in the back with my aunt. There was of course a lot of anxiety about this storm and as we drove and talked my aunt fell asleep leaning against my shoulder. I knew that as she was 91 and in declining health that I would probably never see her alive again so as I look back less than 2 years later I am so very grateful for this visit and those memories.
It was a number of days after the storm passed and I had been safe back home in Georgia before the power was restored to the house in Westport. Not long after that, my aunt underwent surgery for cancer treatment. One year later as, much to my surprise, I completed my own battle with breast cancer and radiation. My aunt also underwent radiation treatment beginning sometime in the late Fall of 2013. I remember speaking by phone and swapping information about cancer treatment. In April this year, I learned that her cancer had spread and there were no more treatment options. Knowing that the last of my father's siblings was going to die was still hard even realizing that she was over 90 and had lived a full and wonderful life. Having lost my own parents I grieved with each of my cousins as they prepared to say goodbye to their beloved mother because even when it's time it is never easy. A phone message from Emily and Mitzi just one day prior to my aunt's death made me determined to travel to Westport for her funeral even though the airfare cost was ridiculous and my work as a swim instructor was in full swing. As expected, the next day on Sunday, my spirited, strong and amazing aunt passed away.
Four days later, I traveled to Connecticut for her funeral. It was wonderful to be in Connecticut with my cousins despite the sad occasion but I am so glad that I made the trip. First, I was so grateful to be in the Catholic church where the familiar funeral ritual recognizes the new life in Christ that she was given in baptism and the promise of resurrection for believers. The bible readings were so touching specifically Phillipians 4:4-8 which admonishes,
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice! Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. "
As the pastor reflected my aunt embodied these qualities contained in the final verse. She was gracious, lovely and lived a life of excellence. Although many there were sad at her passing, we also rejoice in the promise of eternal life.
The gospel reading was likewise so fitting.
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God: have faith also in me. In my Father's house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself so that where I am you may also be."
The gospel continues on to include a conversation with Thomas asking about the way. Thomas was my father's name. He always looked to his older sister for guidance and she gave it to him along with unconditional love. It was my appreciation for this relationship and their mutual love and affection for one another that had drawn me to Westport for this farewell. The Mass and the music were beautiful. At the conclusion each of her children chose to share some thoughts. First Rob, shared that he had chosen not to be sad today but to be grateful for her incredible life. Also he shared a humorous story about his mother who though extremely intelligent was clueless as to balancing a checkbook especially while living in England with the challenge of a foreign currency. My dad and she shared this trait as do I. Her daughter Emily shared her memory of how her mother was always so eager to meet and know people and loved them. I could certainly relate to this as each encounter I had with her left me feeling loved and valued. But the thoughts that most resounded with my heart were those shared by Mitzi those acknowledging her mother's deep faith and her resolve to always make time for mass especially each and every Sunday. That likewise was what I remember about my dad. According to Mitzi, Aunt Emmy Lou used to say that if you can't spare an hour for God each week you need to examine your priorities. Much like my own memories Mitzi related about the various and unique places a devout Catholic will go to not miss Mass. Also hearing of my aunt's devotion to daily scripture was a beautiful testament of her faith in God and hope for life eternal.
As we left the church, my aunt Emmy Lou was given naval honors. Guns fired in her honor and the flag ceremony with presentation to the family and thanks for her service to her country and condolences as to her loss. Earlier in the week, I reflected about the generation that my aunt and my father had come from and was grateful for the lessons of respect for country and dedication of service. Theirs was the generation dedicated to service and as we have just marked the 70th anniversary of Normandy we are reminded of the courage that this generation gave for us all to have a better world and future and the sacrifices made by so many in the hope of freedom. 
After a short reception, we returned to the Westport homestead. Here one of my cousins handed me my aunt Emmy Lou's St Joseph Missal which was opened to a page where the funeral card from my dad's funeral was stuck between the pages. Of course this was very touching to know that this book that she opened so often had this memory of my father. I was even more struck by the scripture verse that began on the opened page. From the Gospel of John was the story of the raising of Lazarus. Having had cancer last year myself, you can't escape thinking about your own death. Prior to Easter each year, the reading about Lazarus resurrection is read on the Sunday preceeding Palm Sunday. As I reflected then about Jesus power over all things and my own faith and beliefs I made a mental note that if I find myself planning my own funeral that I would want that gospel reading read to share my own faith belief as Jesus says, I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies will live. 
After an emotional day, everyone was very tired. I found myself walking around my aunt's beautiful property and thinking of her, my father and this being a final farewell. Westport is a desirable community especially for those commuting to New York City and with many homes like hers that are older it is very likely that this home will be torn down to make room for some new luxury megahouse. I took pictures and knew that just as the day was now ending with the death of my aunt, the last of my father's brothers and sisters, an era had come to an end and we were each left with our memories. I am so grateful to have known and loved this remarkable lady and especially thankful for the love that she gave to my father. And so in the words of the church, "Eternal rest grant unto my dear Aunt Emmy Lou and let perpetual light shine upon her. "
