Take My Hand Precious Lord

This week I am struggling to synthesize all that I have experienced spiritually in this blog. This week I have faithfully read all of the readings prescribed by the church for the week. Many wonderful readings were part of this week parables from Luke about the joy of finding one lost sheep and the Beatitudes from Matthew's gospel with the Sermon on the Mount. Also, I have returned to the online retreat that I am striving to experience through Creighton University. I am reading two books, as one is never enough, The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything by James Martin, SJ and a book by Matthew Kelly, The Rhythm of Life, that I am reading with a group of Cursillistas and discussing. In addition, I am facilitating a Ministry of Mother's Sharing Group at Church where I am able to grow through the insights and sharing of a wonderful group of ladies each Monday.

My online retreat beckons me to move from the previous weeks where I recalled God's presence in my life story and to move into the big picture how I fit into creation. For me this was a jump from self focus to adoration of God and all he has created. I'm not sure I successfully made the leap. The photo above is included in the retreat and although I am of lover of nature especially beautiful vistas I initially could not connect to my place in this image. With the bottle of wine, I imagined sitting with my husband and marvelling at the view. This did not quite get me beyond a relaxing vacation which although restorative to the soul did not lead me into much of a faith experience.

Still, I persisted throughout my week recalling this image in the background and experiencing the week more mindful of God's presence in my life. I read a small excerpt each day from the Jesuit book which describes becoming aware of a friendship with God. This book has introduced me to the Jesuit, "Examen," a daily process to make one more aware of God's presence in my life. Using this tool at least once per day, Jesuits are encouraged to faithfully pray. This process has 5 steps: 1. Gratitude for all the days blessings, 2. Grace to know your sins and to renounce them, 3. A complete review of the day from rising until this moment of all your thoughts, words and deeds, 4. Asking God for forgiveness, and 5. To resolve with God's grace to amend your ways and see God's presence more clearly. This has been a helpful way for me to pray and to consciously become more aware of God in my daily life. Along with the Examen, this book this week has described viewing my relationship with God in terms of a friendship. This too has brought many new insights into the week. Some of the points of this discussion include spending time with God, learning and discovering about him, honesty in my relationship to him and listening. It was at this point that the above photo became relevant. Now, I was able to imagine myself not with my husband enjoying a bottle of wine but with God/Jesus just as I would if I were sitting taking in this spectacular view with one of my friends. At this point, I feel ready to continue with week 4 of the retreat open to the idea that God can be one of my best friends and ready to move ahead through this journey to come to know him better.

At this point, I am going to shift topics to my assignment from Matthew Kelly's book, The Rhythm of Life. I neglected my assignment for yesterday to write a list of what I want out of life aka "my dreams." Funny that as I attempted to recite to my fellow Cursillistas my list without having put it on paper I said that I want to write...And yet, I had not even put to pen my own list. So here we go, What I want out of life is:

• To grow in my faith
• To enjoy many more healthy years with the love of my life and best friend, my husband Bill
• To retire sooner than later
• To be more optimistic
• To travel places I want to visit including Alaska, Hawaii, much more of Europe Italy, France, Spain, Greece and more of Germany and Austria. Also the Holy Land and Australia.
• To have a beach house in Florida and a mountain cabin probably in Tennessee
• To enjoy more time with my children and to truly appreciate them. Also though this is up to them and not in my control to see them grow up to be good people
• To spend more time with some of my closest friends Kathy & John, Nigel and Patty, Sherrie and Rick
• To continue to work doing something that I love and that makes me fulfilled but not too exhausted to enjoy and savor life
• To find the time to write, photograph and chronicle my life and the lives of those in my family.
• To be a bit more organized and procrastinate less so as to create less frustration for myself and others.
• To continue to enjoy the companionship and joy of my pets and other animals. Sorry Bill...

The purpose of this list is to help individuals to redirect their lives from this point on and for them to begin living with passion and purpose. Matthew Kelly points out that age young or old is not a barrier and cites numerous examples of men and women young and old who have achieved greatness.

So as I arrive at the end of another long and I'm sure disjointed blog, a song my mother used to sing a few phrases of pops into my head, Take Me Home Precious Lord was sung by Elvis Presley. This causes me to reflect that I am called this day to grow in my friendship with God. In the background, there is my list of dreams and hopes which I share not only with my group of Cursillistas but with God, my friend. I imagine talking this over with him placing myself in the photo above and as I do I think to myself that it is going to be great day.