Here I am Lord...now what?

"Speak Lord for you servant is listening." 1Sm 3:9. Here I am...

These are beautiful words inviting God to direct our thoughts and actions. But how can I be sure that I know his will? Often there are no quick or easy answers to life's challenges. Am I hearing his answers or merely yielding to my own selfish desires and priorities?

Last night again, I visited Southside Baptist with my son to attend Celebrate Recovery. I know that a better direction for my life is available by keeping myself attuned to God's Presence. It was a challenge to go last night because I was tired and wanted to just veg and do nothing. Likewise my son had no real desire to go and preferred to do otherwise. Yet I told my son, we are going and we went. Last night's message was about Denial and our tendency to do the wrong thing.

"For I know that good does not dwell in me, that is, in my flesh. The willing is ready at hand, but doing the good is not." Romans." 7:18 This verse reminds me of Jesus words to his disciples in the garden of Gethsemane "Watch and pray that you may not undergo the test. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." Mark 14:38. As I strive to start each day with reflecting on the daily readings I know I am taking an important step however my daily intentions and goals are frequently sidetracked and I find myself spending much of my day not engaging in what I know is my duty and responsibility but in mindless and unproductive activities specifically computer surfing. There I've said it and admitted my wrongs for the past 2 days. Sounds silly I know but the keyboard and screen have for me become a window to the outside world from a point where I have found myself to be at times rather dissatisfied with my present state and instead of turning this into action I escape into the electronic abyss. It has become easy for me to spend the day doing something mindless rather than attending to mundane and seemingly meaningless chores. Also when I am facing trials with the teens who continue to pose many challenges each in their own way it offers me an escape.

The answer I know lies in prayer and allowing God's voice which I hear telling me you have much to do and you are wasting precious time. Just get up and go forth and resign yourself to God's will. This is where I came up with my blog theme Grow Where you Are Planted. I am here at this point in my life. Whether Georgia is my dream destination doesn't matter I am here for now. What can I accomplish today? I ask that today God will be my strength and that I may stay attuned to his presence throughout the day in what I say and do and that I will continue to strive to be more purposeful in my actions.