Grateful not Grumpy

So with the New Year and my quest to be more grateful in life I've become aware of many times throughout the day when I nurture negativity. Here's an example, I drive my daughter to school most mornings and she is always rushing and barely making it on time. I make "helpful" suggestions which she doesn't want to accept and upon dropping her off, I reach for my cell phone to call a friend and complain about how unprepared she is...Does this nurture gratitude? Clearly not! Why not instead turn up the radio and take in the sunrise or focus on what has gone right this week like her getting accepted to the college of her choice.

Seems that this gratitude thing is going to take a bit of work and cultivating. To start with, I purchased a book, "Seasons of Grace. " This book is a kind of self help manual to teach someone, such as myself who can be a bit too cynical, how to live with gratitude. The book is organized according to the seasons, Spring, Summer, Winter and Fall. It felt a bit awkward starting at the beginning in Spring when outside we are in the midst of a very cold winter and as I write I'm looking out upon scattered leaves, barren trees, grey skies and rain. I've never been a fan of Winter and can feel each year how my motivation during the cold months drops to nil as I await Spring and Summer.

Nonetheless being the first week of the New Year, I'm still determined to forge ahead with a more thankful spirit opening my eyes to the blessings that exist in my life. So I've continued to read and now find myself reading the reflections about Summer where the authors remind the reader of the opportunities available during the Summertime for taking the time to play wholeheartedly as a child does. When we moved to Georgia over four years ago, we decided we would invest in a boat that would allow us to spend time at a nearby lake with our family and also in order to have an activity that would allow us to entertain our children and their friends. In recent memories of Summer and play the time that we spend boating on the lake stands out of a reminder of the value of play for all of us.

Our days on the lake are full of many pleasures that we can savor. Both the kids and adults laugh as we are pulled along behind the boat bouncing in the wake. On 100 degree Georgia Summer days, it is a welcome relief from the heat as we are cooled by the water and speed of the boat. We usually pack a picnic lunch and make a day or afternoon of this activity. We challenge ourself to waterski and kneeboard cheering each other on as we fight to gain our balance and enjoy the ride. We take breaks by pulling up to the shore of one of the County parks where we lay in the sun and play in the sand as well. Our Summers boating on the lake have been some of the most memorable in Georgia.

Yet as I look outside, I am reminded that summer is about 5 months away...what about today can I savor since many days will pass before we will be playing on the lake again? It does little good to focus only on what is to come. What opportunities are before me today that might spark my interest and passion?

I've started a new ritual the past week. After my 2 cups of coffee, I'm primarily a water drinker. Each morning now I fill up my glass and try to remember to drink often. I've started keeping this glass at least half full at all times, my reminder that I am blessed in so many ways in my life and I need to take stock of the here and now. I'm working hard not to replay the negative but to look for those opportunities of gratitude that surround me each day. A few days ago I took a few moments before bed to perform a suggested gratitude exercise by looking around my surroundings at familiar things. I spend a lot of time in my bedroom each day but often with my head bent over the computer or rushing in or out on my way to here or there. I often key into the bed stand with my piles of books and other clutter that drive my husband crazy and focus on what I should be doing like cleaning. Instead this time, I took the time to look at all the things that should inspire a feeling of gratitude like the photo of our wedding picture and the photos of my children. I looked at the framed art from the Tennessee mountains and was reminded of the beauty of this and of the many happy times that our family has spent on vacations there. I also looked at the angels decorating my room, the bible verse over my bed and the rosary and cursillio cross hanging from my dresser. This reminded me that God was present in so many ways in my life and encouraged me to feel thankful and at peace.

So despite being icebound today, I'm feeling hopeful that this could be the year when I'm able to stay a bit more positive about the circumstances of my life whatever the season.