My Children Seeds in the Garden

Raising Children seems to be such a gamble. So much is out of a parent's control. We want so much for them. For them to grow up and live decent lives, have good friends, choose a suitable spouse and at some point and become a productive member of society. So many variables so what is a parent to do? My children's welfare has been an ongoing source of anxiety for me. When I became a parent I was totally naive. I had no idea how demanding little ones were and how much your children do in spite of you. They are definitely not little extensions of a parent. They do not learn everything from you even the lessons that you consider to be the most important. As they grow to be teenagers they often reject your values and you examine yourself in a way that you never have before. Often you feel like a failure.

This week I have made an effort to return to daily reflection and to draw strength from God's wisdom. Reading one of the weekly reflections I came upon this passage a familiar one but one that helps me reflect on the point at which I find myself in life.

"A sower went out to sow.

And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path,
and birds came and ate it up.
Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil.
It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep,
and when the sun rose it was scorched,
and it withered for lack of roots.
Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it.
But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit,
a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold." Mt 13: 2-8

In this parable God is teaching us that the seeds are souls as he is the sower. I can ponder that each of these seeds is one of my children. As a parent, I want to believe and hope that we have provided rich soil for them to flourish in. Certainly, they have had every advantage at least in terms of worldly and material goods. We have tried to plant the seeds of faith in each and to help to grow this faith in each of them. This parable reminds me however that not all is with in our control. Despite good intentions of the sower in this bible parable not every seed flourished. It is hard to reconcile a child who from birth is precious to his or her parents with something like a mere seed that seems plentiful and replaceable yet there is a lesson here.

My precious little seeds are now teenagers. One is an adult and another is just a few months shy of this legal milestone. I try to remind myself that just like a seed a child is something that must be let go of and entrusted to chance if there is to be growth and harvest. My role in many ways is done and there is no going back and doing it over. For me like the sower, I must wait and hope that in the end these little seeds, my children will flourish and grow.