My Struggle to understand how and why to forgive

I have missed a number of days reading and taking the time to reconnect with God during this season of Lent. On Sunday in Church I told myself that I needed to get back on track. I prayed especially for my children and recalled as I do believe that they are God's greatest lesson to us in what it means to truly love. I recalled that as the mother of 3 teens the many ways in which they have each tested me over the last few years. I realize that their relationship to me as their mother is much like mine with God. He instructs me, counsels me, and loves me and still I fail to appreciate the depth of his love and to respond as I know I should.

Today I read about forgiveness something we all need. Something we must work to extend others. This is something that I have learned to give freely to my children for the most part. Sometimes however I do have a tendency to struggle with when to trust them again as in order to preserve a family, we put continue to hope that they will choose the right path. With others is is not always so easy. Time seems to heal most grudges but I always feel as though I should be quicker to forgive.

What is forgiveness? Most of us want to think that it is a form of reconciliation where one side admits their wrong and the the other side seeing the other's contrition forgives and lets go. But is that really what forgiveness is all about? What about when you perceive a wrong and the other steadfastly is not sorry or sees no wrong to their words or actions? How can forgiveness happen here.? This is my struggle. How can we forgive when another is so clearly wrong?

I was reflecting on this over the last week. I thought of the words of Jesus on the cross, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do?" I thought of the admonishment to forgive our brothers 70x 7. It seems that wrong is part of the human condition. None of us can be right or good all the time. We need to forgive and be forgiven.

So perhaps forgiveness is acceptance of the human condition. We all sin at one time or another to varying degrees. Yesterday's gospel at church spoke of the man born blind and healed by Jesus. We all have varying degrees of blindness and are in need of healing. Perhaps the way to forgiveness begins with acknowledgement that we have been hurt or are being hurt. We pray for the courage to forgive and pray in earnest for those who we believe have done us wrong. We make every effort to let go of our desire for retribution and trust God to ultimately heal and make all things right.

We may or may not choose to continue a relationship even once we reach the point of forgiving and letting go. In some cases, those we have forgiven may be unwilling to change or acknowledge what we believe to be true. Forgiveness releases the forgiver from feelings of bitterness and puts trust and hope in God that those people can be healed or if not that justice will at some point and at Gods time of choosing prevail.